New Year's Eve

My 69th post of the year. I can do better in '08. At least I began one. I spent the holidays at Gwen's. Great time. Played lots of games, watched season 1 of Dexter, caught "No Country For Old Men," relaxed, slept until 8 a.m. every day, and emailed a woman named Chloe who seems nice enough. 2007 was a good year in taking a step foward toward proper mental health. I have so many problems that I'm trying to deal with. If I take life one day at a time I will have a better chance at meeting my goals. For some reason I developed a rash last week. It may have been caused by a new shirt I wore without washing it. The right side of my stomach is all bumpy and red. Nasty.

My priorities for 2008:
1. Script with Chris. Write it, finish it, polish it.
2. Poker. I've devoted enough time to this game. Get a seat in WSOP 2008. This is a priority.
3. Money to pay off bills. I need to do this, and my ticket is through poker. Play smart.
4. Write, read, watch movies. I can really focus on this better I think.
5. Exercise. I'd like to compete in racquetball, but I'm concerned my body is falling apart.
6. Non-fiction memoir. I'd like to begin one.
7. Eat healthy.
8. Downsize my apartment, fix what isn't yet fixed.
9. Connect more with friends.
10. Upgrade technology.
11. More Blog entries.
12. Waste less time.


Happy New Year

Still Losing at $1/2

Still trying to figure out the $1/2 limit game on Stars. I’m up to 3,300 FPPs but am down $350 since 6-12 tabling. I’m sure I lose a bit of equity in not being able to assess the table dynamics, but still, my decisions should be fairly cut and dry. I’m going over certain hands this week to see if I can uncover any hidden leaks. I’m trying really hard to keep my emotions in check, though it’s hard when I lose several big pots in-a-row when I’m ahead on the turn. It can be an extremely frustrating game. I like the opportunities for freerolls when hitting certain levels.

Heaven

I almost talked myself out of sending Christmas cards this year, but I put a to do list together and am now set to get them out the door by Monday. To-do lists are my saving grace. Without them, I’d get nothing accomplished. Another weekend full of stuff to complete. I’ve set my goals and hope to get them done. No distractions, please. It’s the perfect sort of weekend in that I have no obligations to speak of and a load of chores and activities to occupy my time. Heaven.

Bad Mood

I was in a fairly bad mood yesterday. Feeling very negative, probably due to my losing session the night before. I have a bad habit of believing I'm very unlucky in poker. Actually, perhaps 25-30% of my loses the night before were due to bad play. I can be a calling station when there's no reason to engage in a hand after the flop. My pride sometimes gets in the way. Playing 12 tables is challenging. Playing correctly against certain opponents is also difficult with so many other tables going on. The big negative is I don't get to see the action with hands I'm not involved in. But with PokerTracker I can study the plays players make. PokerTracker is a pretty amazing program. I hope it pays for itself many times over.

Christmas is coming and I'm quickly mailing out packages and gifts. All of my mailing is finished. Now I have to buy gifts for people hear in the Bay Area and have a few gifts onhand for friends in B'ham. Perhaps a gift exchange will be in the works.

I've created my to do list for the day and plan to stay very focused and busy. It's about the only thing that keeps me from wasting large amounts of time. Goals are key. Meeting daily goals. I sometimes forget about the steps involved in traveling great distances.

Work

I've been getting lots of sleep lately. I feel good and have tons of energy. That's good, because I want to accomplish so much today. A full list of to-do projects. I meet with Chris tonight, so I'm writing three scenes for our latest script. I also want to play at least an hour's worth of poker. 1 million hands is huge commitment, but I think it would be a great accomplishment. I hope I stick it out. I hope I don't go broke trying it. That's what worries me a bit. I'm not sure if I'm playing the game properly. I seem to be losing a little more than winning so far. I'm only 3500 hands into it, but still, I don't want to lose hundreds upon hundreds of dollars here. The month is flying by. I'm making a point of enjoying each moment. When at Gwen's and with friends, I want to be on my best behavior. One of my resolutions in 2008 is to take losing in stride. Not take it personally. This is something I can do. It's really a matter of reshifting energy away from personal inadequacy and more into acknowledging an accomplishment. It's all about shifting thoughts and perspectives. I've had a year now to practice my lists and schedules as a way of staying on track. It's tough to stay focused at times and see things through. But I want to see certain projects through to the end. I want to get a script purchased and made into a film. And I want to compete in big $10,000 buy-in tournaments. I also want to find an appropriate match who is healthy and fun and gets me. What if 2008 were my breakout year. Wouldn't that be something.

Overcoming That Losing Mentality

I've been losing in poker and one of the more challenging aspects of the game is staying positive and confident when you can't win a pot. I begin to question my abilities and wonder if I'm any good at a game I've spent so many hours playing and studying. Last night at Craig's freeroll, I was in pretty good position with around 2000 in chips (started with 1300). I was dealt QQ in the sb. John went all in for his last 300. I raised to 1000 so Johnny wouldn't enter the pot. Johnny, however, went all in and I was forced to call. He had AA. It was the second time he had aces. Unbelieveable. That perfectly captures what has been happening to me this month. Anyway, I was knocked out. Really disappointing. My one big mistake was leaving the table without making sure Johnny had me covered. I realized after I was in the car that it might have been possible that Johnny didn't have as many chips as I had. He had lost a few pots. Anyway, that hand depressed me. I've been playing 1/2 limit poker on Stars to build up practice and perhaps going for the SuperNova elite status. I'm a big loser in the 1/2 game so far. Granted, I've only played 650 hands or so, but it's amazing to me how often I lose. My AA and KK can't win. Suckouts right and left. It's really getting me down. I think I make pretty good decisions when I play limit, but for some reason I feel as though the players can see right through me. I'm a fairly conservative player, but whenever I shoot back, I shoot back at a big hand. I'm hitting the books hard and trying to mix up my game. I need a strong poker weekend so I don't lose all my confidence. If I can lose and still believe in myself and my poker abilities, that would be a great thing. In poker, it's the long run, and I need to remember that. The swing will come my way eventually.

I'm attending a couple of parties over the weekend. Should be a lot of fun. Dorian's hosting a big Christmas party and Reed Smith's Christmas party is on Saturday. People don't call it a Christmas party anymore. It's now a holiday party.

SuperNova Ideas

An idea came to me over the weekend after studying the VIP point system offered at PokerStars. There is money to be made once a player achieves SuperNova status. $21K for the first million points, and $50k for each million following. What's more, the points you earn translate into buy-in tournaments around the world. That's a lot of money. The time commitment is in the first four or five months where accumulating points is difficult. But it can be done. It's just a little bit mindless and insane. Perfect for me. Anyway, I'm seriously considering embarking on this path. With PokerTracker I can keep track of who is playing at the tables and study their game. I can make this work if I want it bad enough. I see a bright future for poker and my place in it. I find it amazing that such a simple game can generate so much money. And there's money just begging to be made in poker. Shuffle up and Deal!