Mind Racing

My mind continues to race. So many ideas, plans, goals, hopes, dreams. It doesn't end. I don't know why I feel so energized after LA, but I do. Something striking has happened to me. I feel as if I can write anything without the typical obstacles. It's only a matter of time. I never used to think that. Deja Bride, I believe, unblocked me. It's as though I've come to believe if I can write a romantic comedy I can write anything. A memoir? A franchise collection? I decide what to write. I like that. I decide the tone, the characters, everything. In a way, it's good practice at directing. When push comes to shove I'm actually quite good at making decisions.

I can't believe I"m 44 years old. Where has the time gone? I have four scripts written, some of which are just waiting to be turned into novels. Bridging would make a good novel. Perhaps should write it.

I haven't played poker all month. I think I was so discouraged about last month's losses that I needed to take a break. It's good that so much of my energy has been focused on writing. I'm also planning to just study poker. I have such bad luck at the game. It's comical how bad my luck runs. I feel I just don't know how to play that game sometimes beyond playing like a caveman.

I have to get the Nichol thing out. I've heard comedies don' t win the Nichol, but it's worth a shot anyway. I've never even made the quarters in that contest.

My memoir. I'm thinking about some of the things to write in it. All relationship, girl stuff. My obsessions and passions and contradictions. While it's stil a memoir, I do have to create a character for myself. My true self? What is my true self? Good question. Sometimes I don't know. Full of self-loathing but also self-delight. I hate losing, that much is true. I've never been a good loser. I take it so personally. I'm better minutes afterward when the bloodletting stops.

I sent out three follow-up letters today. Of course, I didn't hear from any of the managers and agents who got the one-page. I wasn't really expecting that. I wonder if they even read them.

We'll see if anyone responds to the letters I wrote. Chris's contact Hart Hansen may prove promising.