Reading, Medi(p)ocre

I didn’t make the WSOP Main event this year and I’m disappointed, but also doubly determined to make it next year. I feel I have a ways to go to get good at this game. I’m starting to come to the conclusion that I’m really quite average and not nearly as good as I’ve led myself to believe. My reason for thinking this is my recent no limit play at the .25/.50 table. I’ve losing badly at these tables and I’m not sure what to do about it. I feel as though I’m getting out-played. People are pushing back at me and I either can’t make the call or make the call and have a much worse hand. It’s frustrating. Yes, I’ve taken some bad beats as well, and run into some impossible situations, but still, isn’t poker about overcoming these unfortunate situations and still managing a profit? More and more I’m finding myself rooting for luck to temper my losses. That can’t be good poker. I don’t know why, but I really seem to suck on the internet.
I’m reading more these days, trying to read 200 pages every two days if possible. I have so many books at home that I haven’t read. Right now I’m finishing “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man,” Ian McEwan’s “the comfort of strangers,” Jim Cramer’s Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World,” “Good Mood,” and No Limit Theory and Practice, the Concepts section, which I’m writing out in Word. I’m enjoying reading five books at once. I may start doing more of this because it’s simply how I think, how I am.