More Stuff

Racquetball:

I reclaimed the Club One AA title by beating Steve Basham 15-13, 6-15, 11-3 in a very exciting and exhausting racquetball contest last Thursday. My energy was very low throughout the match, though I felt good beforehand. I was sufficiently loose and warmed up, having arrived at the Club at 4. I warmed up on the court from 4-5, then took a shower, steam and sauna from 5:15-6. From 6-6:30 I warmed up my backhand and the match began promptly at 6:30.
The first game was fairly even. I may have jumped to an early lead, but then Steve evened the score at 8 or 9 and then jumped into the lead. It was 9-12 when I scored a point. Then Steve scored and it was 10-13. I then scored a few points off my serves. At 14-13, I served a drive serve to the right side, fooling Steve into thinking I was serving to my left. My right-side serve went perfectly along the wall without touching it, and I won the first game.

I changed shirts and socks, determined to win the second game, but Steve played phenomenally well in game 2. I was hitting passing shots that he kept cutting off. I mixed up my serves, but Steve was deadly with his return. Everything was working for him, and he was suddenly ahead 5-14. I scored a point, then he scored a point and we went to the tiebreaker.
I changed my socks, shirt and head scarf again. I did not want to lose. I was ahead 2-0 and felt good. Steve evened things up at 2-2. I then scored three points, up 5-2. Steve scored a point and it was 5-3. I then scored three more points, up 8-3. My serves were still hard and Steve was making mistakes. He wasn’t playing with the same intensity that he displayed in game two. I scored the next three points and the match was over. I was SO happy! I really wanted to take the title back. Now I have it. I’m the club champ once again. I’ve had the title 6 or 7 times now, more than any other player. That makes me feel very good!

Poker

I will not be playing in the 2008 WSOP this year. I tried, not as hard as I could have, but I did try and came close twice, but no luck in the end. My poker playing is developing. I’m reading important books and thinking about the game differently. My first priority is to figure out and beat the $1/2 limit game, which is something I have not been able to do yet. I’m reading an important book called How to Beat Tough Hold’em Games which has been a godsend. I’m playing to play a lot more poker in July and get back in the swing of playing many tables at the same time.

Writing

I’m writing and reading more. I feel I’m a much better writer at 44 than 24 or 34. I just seem to know what to worry about and don’t worry about what not to worry about. Not too long ago I worried about everything, especially writing right. Now I just write.

ACA

Adult Children of Alcoholics. Hmm. I’ve definitely got a lot of work to do but I feel I’ve made a great deal of progress in dealing with some of my most difficult issues. Lots of ideas have come to me and Gwen from our family issues with alcohol. More on this later.

Another Day

What a surprise, lots going on, too much it seems. It's difficult, as always, to prioritize my time. I'm interested in so many activities, which is why I need to plan, plan, plan.

Last weekend at Gwen's was one of the more interesting family get-togethers. With the Nicole crisis brewing and our family taking measures to will her toward treatment, the entire process has unearthed the big white elephant in the room, the family drinking and how it has impacted all of us. Mom feels a bit vulnerable, I think. She should. She will die of drinking if she doesn't do something.

I'm reading "Under the Influence," a book about alcoholism that Gwen bought for me. I'm really proud of Gwen and the battle she has waged against her own drinking.

In the poker world, I tried to win a WSOP seat last weekend and failed. I came close, but no cigar. I am getting better and better at that game, though. One of these days I'll do well. But it doesn't look as though it will be this year.

Still troubled by the death of Tim Russert. He is a great inspiration to me. I want to create a list of folks who have impacted and influenced my life. He would be right up there with his winning smile and optimism. The reality is I'm not nearly as happy as I would lik to be. So much of that is me, though. What more do I want or need from life? Not much. I have everything I need. Really, I do. Work, work, work!

Good but Not Great

I’m really not great at anything, but pretty good at many things. I love playing games. I've never truly excelled at any one game, but I like learning the strategies behind winning. I like to win. One of my favorite movie lines is from Patton: America loves a winner and will not tolerate a loser. I feel this way about myself. It's difficult for me to tolerate losing. It's been a lifelong ordeal trying to keep from taking losing personally. I feel it so completely. When I've lost a game I should have won, I go into total respiratory shock. I want to punch holes through walls. You'd like I'd get used to it. I don't.
Like most people, I tend to overplay my abilities, thinking I’m actually a lot better than I really am. I was like that in the dating world. So what if I was 5'6 and balding with no real career to speak of. I thought my natural wit, charm and good-guy tendencies would win women over. HA! What a delusion. They saw something, the women I wanted to charm. Or nothing. I've been a big loser in the dating realm.
Poker: I'm getting better, but can't bring down a tournament or satellite. The table I played at today was good. I played straight up poker, nothing fancy, and lost half my stack with second best hands. I just couldn't get anything going, and then my AK ran into AA. I used to do that a lot. It's been a while, but I can be pretty good at it when I'm up for it.
I Haven't played any limit on Stars in a while. March was so brutal for me. I think I lost 400 or so. I've been a big loser on limit lately. But what's been working well for me lately has been the double shootouts. This weekend I took two and came in 2nd on the other two at the first table. Not bad. I've been using the ICM strategies and they've been working well. The players at these low-limit DSs are not very good. Way too passive when the blinds get big.
Today was my first Sunday Million tournament and $650 WSOP. In the Sunday Million, I pushed all-in in the small big post flop with AQ and the button called with A8. An 8 hit on the turn and I was out. Had I won, I would have had 16K in chips. Really disappointing.
In the WSOP Satellite, I ran into AA with my AK and that was that. Pretty ugly way to go in both tourneys. I had great cards in the WSOP satellite. Had I had those cards later in the tournament, I would have won a seat. They were incredible cards.

Nicole

Last night we had an intervention with Nicole and her drinking/drug problem. It happened quickly. Gwen gave me a call a few days ago saying Nicole was arrested after getting into a fight at a bar near Lake Chelan. She was charged with disturbing the peace. She called Gwen and was upset. Gwen called mom, Jill and me. Gwen felt Nicole had a drinking problem. She thought an intervention might be necessary when we all arrive in Seattle for Mathew’s high school graduation. Gwen, Jill, mom and I got on the phone and concluded an intervention was the right thing to do. Nicole still lives at home with her parents and she’s 23. She was arrested a few months ago for a DUI. Craig reduced the charge to reckless driving. I’m tough when it comes to personal responsibility. I expect a lot of myself and others. I don’t understand drinking and partying and taking drugs. I’ve never been that way. Nicole isn’t yet ready to give up that lifestyle. In the meantime, her goals and dreams have moved further and further from reality. The latest Hough family crisis escalated when Mathew told Gwen Nicole was worried she was addicted to cocaine. Gwen told me, mom and Jill. We scratched the old plan and decided immediate intervention was necessary. When Nicole arrived home from Lake Chelan Monday night, Gwen, Greg and the boys met with Nicole in the kitchen. “Oh, a family meeting,” Nicole said. Gwen said she thought Nicole needed treatment, but Nicole thought Gwen was overreacting. Nicole didn’t think she had anything wrong. Gwen confronted Nicole with her cocaine use. Nicole said it was purely recreational, maybe ten times total. The meeting ended with Nicole leaving the house.
Mom drove to Gwen’s the next day. The were ready to confront Nicole last night after she came home from her double-shift at her second job (she was fired from her other job). Jill and I got on the phone and put together an action plan for what Gwen and mom had planned to say to Nicole. Basically, Nicole had only one option: she either had to go to treatment for her substance addictions or move out of the house and not have any contact with the family until she was ready for treatment. It was not a discussion, but a decision. It’s great to have Jill as a professional guiding us through this process.
Nicole came home last night at around 9:45. I three-way-phoned Gwen and Jill and could already hear mom talking with Nicole using very strong, very stern language. Listening to Nicole without seeing her body language or being in the same room with her was truly incredible. Her voice was flat, almost monotone. She was certain she did not have any issues of any kind. She did not have a drinking problem or drug problem. She absolutely was not going to treatment. Then Jill spoke with her. She was firm, clinical and matter-of-fact. She was harsh. Then I was asked to speak. I said I completely agreed with Jill. I also said any member of this family who uses drugs is really doomed given the history of alcohol abuse in this family. I mentioned how from day one I have been a major cheerleader and supporter of Nicole, that she has had lots of opportunities, and yet, if she does not get treatment I will not interact with her until she does so. I was extreme and firm. I sounded like Dad, which might not be the best thing. Mom then spoke again, then Gwen. Nicole then left the room to pack a bag and leave. She plans to move out by Thursday. Her plan is to stay out of our lives for a year and show us all that she can make something of her life. I hold zero hope for her. Not with drugs and alcohol in her life. No way. She wants to party. That’s what she wants to go. What a waste.
Jill and I stayed on the phone another 45 minutes. Mom was extremely upset. I hadn’t heard mom cry that loudly in years...if ever. She was simply devastated. It was so much harder to be there in person than over the phone. I was all right, though I’m obviously saddened by the choices Nicole has made and how difficult her life will become. She has now become a drug addict and alcoholic. She was always a candidate for heading down the wrong road. We all knew this. I think that’s why we all gave her so much love. We knew she’d need it. In a way, it’s not surprising this is where she is. My favorite memories of Nicole were when she was at Jill and Chris’s wedding. She was so helpful and in such a good place. What that her senior year? I also loved watching her play softball. She was like me and would get so angry at herself if she didn’t perform well. Those times seem far away. Life can be harsh and oddly predictable. Nicole should have done better for herself. I wish her luck in this relentlessly indifferent world.

Hot Outside

The temperature yesterday was in the 90s. Today it's a little cooler, but still hot. It's most pleasant at 6:00 am when the sun comes out. At Craig's tournament two days ago, someone called my AK pre-flop raise with 92 and the flop was 92A. So painful. What's worse, I was slow-rolled when all the chips were in. It was brutal. Frank is so in trouble.

I played Byron in racquetball today and beat him 15-3, 15-2. It was sweet. I played well, though there was still room for improvement.

I'm writing three projects right now. I'm a writing machine. I'm also getting back into poker after a month off. I doubt I will play in the WSOP this year. No vacation time, plus I don't think I'll win an entry. My online play is not very lucky. Maybe I"m not very good and just don't realize it.

Michael Bell is spending his last day here. His visit has been very enjoyable. The weather couldn't have been better. He's a great great guy.

OK, on to some writing.

Michael Bell in Town - Drive up the Coast

California really is a spectacular state. So beautiful. I took Monday and Tuesday off. Michael Bell is in town, so we drove up Highway 1 from Stinson Beach all the way to Fort Bragg. Truly remarkable. The weather was terrific. A little chilly, but sunny and clear of traffic. We took our time. We reached Mendocino around 4, and only had an hour or so to check out some arts and crafts stores. We hit a magnificent store featuring wood pieces by students. Amazing desks, burrows, etc. We stayed at Fort Bragg for the night at the Budget 8 and had fish & chips at Cap'n Flints. On Tuesday, we drove along Highway 128 through a Redwood forest. Another spectacular adventure.

As we drove, I thought about my young adult franchise. It's brewing in my head. The Chapel story needs a grand theme (life energy and death energy).

More Energy

So I have several projects I’m working on at the same time: 1) my romantic comedy memoir, 2) my Chapel franchise, 3) Retro-Therapy. I still want to finish Don’s screenplay that I abandoned several years ago. I’ve never been so busy or productive. I’m doing all the things I want to do. I’m just not getting paid to do them. I finished a 1,000-word piece for Chris on our LA trip. I like it. I think he will, too. Retro-Therapy feels like another winner.